Well, I don't know where to start since I haven't updated in the longest time. I guess that things are pretty different. Leo and I broke up for the last time on saturday... Or Sunday. I don't remember.

Jean likes me a lot but I don't know if I feel the same way about him at all. He has too much on his hands and besides with Angelo talking to me again I can't really care less about Jean. I care about Leo but he really hurt me and we're probably not going to last anyways ince we are so different.

I love tara. I do everything with her. We've done so many things.

I hate my job which I'm still in fact working at.

I LOVE the emo song.

And I guess school is okay. A little drama since the leo thing but I'm old enough to not let the drama bother be because I really don't care about freshmen. I'm a woman, they are children. Like I said to leo, "Do you want a woman or a child?" So there isn't much of a point ot be jealous of them.

Current Mood: apathetic

Last night was one of those nights when you forget what real life is. As it turns out Angelo ( I won't call him shaggy) decides to move back to detriot. It's cool although I wish him the best. Vero and I after spending the day with leo and Tara went to his house since he invited me and as it turned out there was a party. I decided to stay sober. I cried a little the next day but eh, I'm over it.

Anyways, leo and I have been fighting a lot lately. But I still love him more then life. We will make 3 years! And maybe longer! (inside joke)

I have hey there delilah stuck in my head. Weird.

I have to take a shower and I'm too lazzzyyyy!!!

Nighty night!

Current Mood: high

I'm not excited that school is starting in 18 days.
I guess my summer was good though. I got Leo (again)!
I spent a lot of time with Daniel.
I found out that ignacio wants to do nasty things with me.
I hung out with Kenny a bunch of times.
Shaggy and I started talking again.
I was with Leo a lot and found out that he really loves me.

I found that out the day that I hung out with Shaggy and Leo nearly had a heart attack. After hanging out with Shag I went to hang out with leo for like an hour at the beach and he was so upset. He wore my favorite outfit to "impress" me. Then when he asked me if I could tell how much he cares about me after the episode and I was like "I think you love me now." I liked that day with leo a lot. And then the next day we got into a huge fight and he told me that he loves me so much and blah blah blah. It was all like amazing. Not the fight though, it still haunts me. But finally leo and I feel the same about each other.

Oh, and he talked to my mom.

I <33333 Leo!

I think I have a Leo loving problem. If I'm not talking to him I'm thinking about him. Or now dreaming!

Last night I had a dream that I was going to a drum circle with Coral and some chick that I didn't know and the weirdest thing happened. I hummer came out of no where and tried hitting us. The people in the car had something over their heads. So we ran to Leos house and when we got there he started telling me that he was moving really far. So yea then when he moved we would talk on the phone but it wasn't the same. I knew that we had nothing anymore. My favorite line in the dream, "Hailey, I'll always love you." I remember after that part I started crying my eyes out cause I missed him so much.

Anyways. In my last entry I think I was in a really pissy mood. Leo=Life. Daniel came back last night and we chilled.

My summer has been very chilled. Sometimes I hang out with really random people but I'm usually with Leo or Daniel. I try to make it a point to see Leo as much as I could. I work only over the weekends.

I've been to the movies several times. I've gona out to eat too many times. I've gone out with Leo out to eat too many times. lol. I've spoken to old friends. I've done the same old things. :-)

I've been having a blast. I think that I'm ready for school to start.

Oh and I made 2 new friends. One is a drug dealer and the other is a weird skater.

Current Mood: happy

This summer has been pretty interesting. Kinda gay when I think about it. Everyday seems to be the same thing. And now that Daniel went to Orlando I have nothing to do. All I do is see Daniel and Leo. Yea I love them both but seeing and talking to the same people all day everyday can be annoying. I've done some interesting things. Some really bad things. Especially this one thing. My conscience has been killing me about it. I can't tell anyone because I don't want anyone to know about it. Last night I even had a bad dream because of it. I don't know why it bothers me so much when it's not even like I hurt anyone. It's Leos fault for being like this about having a relationship. He makes me so happy and everything but there are so many things that he does wrong and doesn't even relize it. It's kinda cute but sometimes it makes me angry. And now is one of those times that he makes me angry. He doesn't have a compassionate understanding sweet side. He's not romantic and not very considerate. Actually he's the least considerate person that I think I even know. When we fight even if he did do something wrong he just gets mad at me. Like that time that i waited for him in the rain. Like saturday when I got mad because I had to work for 6 hrs then walk all the way to his house alone. Not cool.

And now today I was going to see him at the mall and he makes new plans. Does he really think that I'm going to be happy spending the day alone at home?

I can't wait till tonight when Daniel comes back.

Our friendship is over and I think it's obvious.

This is by far one of the worst birthdays I've ever had. I don't know why everything is going to wrong for me. Not one thing can just go right once. I got caught in the rain 3 times this week and LEAKED FUCKING PERIOD BLOOD twice at leos house. :-( I found out that I have no chance in chemistry and I just so many things. I moved.. EVERYTHING. Man. I wish that things could just go back to normal. I miss last year. I miss the year before that. I mis how I used to be. I miss my old friends, I miss it all. I wish that I could be 9 again in New York with Edward. I used to be happy I guess. I always complained about not being happy but now that I look back nothing was wrong except for my asshole father. Every year around this time I cry. I feel like I was a mistake. I dont know why I had to be born sometimes. I fuck up at everything. I dont know how to not fuck up. I wish that it were possible to just disappear and find out that I never really existed. I would be so happy. I guess I wouldn't know but just the same I would be happy. My mother would be happier. There would be an extra seat in everyone of the 8 classes that I have. Nothing would be different. Fuck. If I were to disapper right now no one would probably notice. Sure people say that they would notice but the truth is they wouldn't. The only person who would really miss me is my mother and ever she has Coral. I don't want to stop writing but I don't know what else to write.

oh oh oh I know.

I hate me.

Dear piece of shit,
I hate you.
I hate that you come in the shadows of sunny days and smear the skies with shit.
I hate that you always know what to say to make me feel like shit, sometimes you try to make me feel like a piece of shit and sometimes it works.
I hate that you are full of shit so I can never tell the defference between real and fake.
I hate that you are a habitual liar!
I hate that you fill me ears and heart with shit.
Piece of shit, I know that sometimes I do fill your heart with shit too, I won't lie, but shit gets shitted on.
I hate that you make me cry for fellow pieces of shit. Everything is just shit and everything causes tears. SHIT SHIT SHIT!
I hate that you make me look like shit. Daily. My shitty hair, style, speech, grades, everything about me is shitty because you filled me with shit over the last 16 almost 17 years.



I've figured out what shit really is. Shit is the world. Shit is the air we breath and the bed that we were born in. Shit is what kept us warm throughout the years. Shit is what kept us sane.
Take out all of the shit in the world and what are you left with?

Honesty.
Niceness.
Mannes.
Freedom.


Insanity?


I don't know. I'm in a weird mood. I'm so sich and tired of all the shit. I'm tired of being treated like shit. Seriously, I know what I do, and I know how I look. If I look like shit maybe there is a reason. Who am I trying to attract? I'm just at school, why dress up and try to look the best that I can. I got more guys when I just wore tee shirts and my hair up and messy. More then guys, happiness. I don't care if I have hair sticking out everywhere, it's my hair! IT's natural and beautiful because it's natural. Nothing that grows on the human body is ugly unless it's not normal, like cancer. Even pimples can be beautiful. It's a blemish to natural beauty, what is it going to do? Just go away. All that a pimple even is is oil build up. Everyone gets them, it's natural. When I see people with pimples I never point them out and say things like "Ew! That looks terrible!" On the contrary I'll make jokes (sometimes) and just say that it looks fine, because trust me, it does look fine. Chapped lips are natural. I never minded kissing anyone with chapped lips, I never even notice to point it out (unless I'm kidding about it and even then I'll admit that it doesn't looks that bad). I NEVER say that someones hair looks like shit because it never does. No matter what. No matter if it's tied up, all down, puffy, frizzy, in a hair band, IT LOOKS FINE! It always looks good. IT's a style. My hair is in layers, no matter what I do it's going to come out on the sides. When I tie it up it doesn't look bad, the sides are supposed to come out. When I wear a headband it comes over the top, not everyone particulry like it, BUT I DO! I'm really tired of always being judged the second you take a look at me. Just accept me. If I'm ugly, If I'm pretty, if I'm having a bad hair day, if I have a pimple, if I have a birthmark in a weird place!

I want no more shit! I have too much on my mind and going on in my life to put up with shit!

Man I'm so tired of shit. THere is shit everywhere!!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! TAKE AWAY THE SHIT!

There is no shit in him. Only stuff can't happen because of some old shit.

Fucking shit.

It's again been a long time since I updated. Once again, Leo broke up with me.. Because of Hans. I don't know what I'm going to do. A week after we broke up we did "it". It's going to be two weeks tomorrow. Gosh. I miss him. Since we've broken up I've been high all of the time. I just can't think about it. It drives me crazy and into tears. Everytime I spoke to him after my break up I've been stoned. Last friday when I went to his house I had to smoke before going. I couldn't see him sober. I'd probably cry.

Anyways. This morning Annie smoked. :-D Yea, it's bad or whatever but it's a part of life to try new things. Mary Jane is just a small part of the many things that exist on the planet. Some things are better then it and others don't amount to it.

Starting the week of the finals I'm not going to school high anymore. Well, duh!

MY CHEMICALS WILL MAKE YOU GLOW


HAILEY NEGRON
PERIOD 1
5/4



THE EQUATION
AlCl3 + FeN --> AlN + FeCl3
115000g 132000g 35719g 140263g

115000g AlCl3 x 1mole/132 = 871.2 moles AlCl3

871.2 moles AlCl3 x 1 AlN/1 AlCl3= 871.2 moles AlN

871.2 moles AlN x 41/1 mole= 35719g AlN
Limiting

132000g FeN x 1 mole/70g= 1885.7 moles FeN

1885.7 moles FeN x 1AlN/1FeN= 1885.7 moles AlN

1885.7 moles AlN x 41/1 mole= 487313.7g AlN
Exess

115000g AlCl3 x 1mole/132g= 872.1 moles AlCl3

872.1 moles AlCl3 x 1FeCl3/1AlCl3= 872.1 moles FeCl3

872.1 moles FeCl3 x 161g/1mole= 140263g FeCl3


115000g AlCl3 x 1mole/132g= 872.1 moles AlCl3

872.1 moles AlCl3 x 1FeN/1AlCl3=872.1 moles FeN

872.1 moles FeN x 70/1 mole= 60984g FeN

132000-60984= 71016
Exess


check
reactants
115000+132000= 247,000

products
35719+140263= 175,982

247000-175982= 71018


products
35719 x $14.55= $519711
140263 x $22.10= $3099812
519711+3099812= $3,619,523 sold


reactants
115000 x $8.55= $983,250
132000 x $2.55= $36,600
983250+336600= $1,319,850 bought


3619523-1319850= $2299673 profit w/o excess

71016 x $2.55= $181091+$2299673= $2,480,764 profit w excess






THE COMPOUNDS
One of the elements used in this compound is Amuminum Chlorine. It is a solid with a low melting and boiling point. It is a poor conductor of electricity. It attracts water molecules and ironically is explosive with it. It is a common compound, commonly found in deoderant. The compound should be handeled with care (with goggles and chemical hoods). It also will eat at materials such as steel and rubber.

The other compund which is Iron III Nitrate also attracts water. The compound forms a colorless pale violet crystal form. It forms in pools or open atmospheres. It is commonly used in ammonia.









THE HISTORY
Marie Curie was a pioneer in radioactivity. The first discovery of radioactive activity was founded by Henri Becquerel while he was working with phosphorescent materials that apperared to glowed in the dark after exposed to light. Marie Curie was one of the few chemists who tried to find out more about radioactivity. Curie was the founder of a substance that contains more radoiactivity then uranium. Pitchblende. Curie was the first woman to be awarded the Nobel prize for her joint research on Becquerels new founded radioactivity.


Bibliography:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioactivity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Currie
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron(III)_nitrate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aluminium_chloride#Precautions

AlCl3 + FeN --> AlN + FeCl3
115000g 132000g 35719g 140263g

115000g AlCl3 x 1mole/132 = 871.2 moles AlCl3

871.2 moles AlCl3 x 1 AlN/1 AlCl3= 871.2 moles AlN

871.2 moles AlN x 41/1 mole= 35719g AlN
Limiting

132000g FeN x 1 mole/70g= 1885.7 moles FeN

1885.7 moles FeN x 1AlN/1FeN= 1885.7 moles AlN

1885.7 moles AlN x 41/1 mole= 487313.7g AlN
Exess

115000g AlCl3 x 1mole/132g= 872.1 moles AlCl3

872.1 moles AlCl3 x 1FeCl3/1AlCl3= 872.1 moles FeCl3

872.1 moles FeCl3 x 161g/1mole= 140263g FeCl3


115000g AlCl3 x 1mole/132g= 872.1 moles AlCl3

872.1 moles AlCl3 x 1FeN/1AlCl3=872.1 moles FeN

872.1 moles FeN x 70/1 mole= 60984g FeN

132000-60984= 71016
Exess


check
reactants
115000+132000= 247,000

products
35719+140263= 175,982

247000-175982= 71018


products
35719 x $14.55= $519711
140263 x $22.10= $3099812
519711+3099812= $3,619,523 sold


reactants
115000 x $8.55= $983,250
132000 x $2.55= $36,600
983250+336600= $1,319,850 bought


3619523-1319850= $2299673 profit w/o exess

71016 x $2.55= $181091+$2299673= $2,480,764 profit w exess

Snowflake Escapes From Jail

Amanda Richards, or as most know her, Snowflake, escaped from jail on April 10, 2008. Richards had been arrested by officer, Anthony Heur while after soliciting; she went to the house of her alleged pimp, Christin Perez. Perez had gotten caught by Heur two days prior to Richards’s attainment, for violence and possession of illegal narcotics.

Upon questioning, Richards admitted to occasionally helping Perez make money off of illegal drugs and her odd job. Apparently Richards immigrated from Cuba and fell into the care of Perez. He promised her a life of wealth if she could first earn him a couple of thousands of dollars so they could “afford to move to Japan,” said Richards. “It was a little ironic that Richards went to Perez for help.” Said Heur, “She kept 2.5 billion dollars in the bank. Almost enough to buy Cuba.” He joked.

“We’re not sure how Richards escaped.” Said one of the jail guards seconds after her flight. William Harris had been watching Richards while she escaped. “She tried bribing me into having an affair with her if I gave her keys, she tried reaching past the cell bars to touch me.” Harris admitted when on keys were found. II did not have sex with that woman.” Harris admitted before Judge Judy.

Umm. I haven't updated in a while and I'm not really sure that anything is new.

Hmm. This weekend was okay. Friday I hung out with friends and saturday and sunday hans. I have to hang out with hans less because Leo thinks that I like him or something. Man, Leo must be crazy, I love him more then life! I'd NEVER EVER risk losing leo, ESPEICALLY to Hans! I <333 Leooo!!!

Okay, anyways. I FINALLY got my cell phone. FINALLY!

I've been talking to Annie a lot more. She's pretty cool. Too bad it's so rare that she could chill.

I've actually been getting to school on time and I've been going sober. Yayness..

Yea. And did I forget to mention that I love leo!

Finding the mass
of the Crystal CuSO4





















Negron, Hailey
Period 1
3/12




Materials
Bunsen Burner
Scale
Crucible
Wireguase
Ringstand


Compound:
CuSO4

Procedure
1.Get the initial mass of the crystal
2. Put the crucible and place in on the bunsen burner
3. Heat up crystal until the white flour is gone, if you need to repeat do so. (Be very careful while placing and picking up the crucible from the bunsen burner.)
4. Weigh the crystal
5. Find the mass of water
6. Fine how many moles is in the water
7. Find how many moles is in the compound
8. Divide the answers in 7 and 6
9. Check if your number is cloer to a whole number
10. If not repeat step 3-9

Conclusion:
With the CuSO4 compound my peers and I demonstarted an experiment to find out the number of moles in the compound. In effect of one of our clumsy group members (me) we were not able to find out the final answer. In this experiment we had to heat up the crucible which held the compound. After trying to get as much of the white flour to diminish we had to weigh the crystal. We then had to follow several formulas for us to get the final answer.

Mend my broken wings and help me fly. Above the heavens of Miami Beach, above the heavens of the world. I was once up there. I was once so happy that I never noticed when my paper wings became entangled with his fingers. YANK!!!!
I fall. I'm swirling down leaving holes in clouds, swirling down, moving back and forth where ever the wind blows me. I've hit the ground. I cracked into a million peices. They are scattered everywhere. You try to tape me back together, the tape won't hold. You get the glue, you can't find the peices. There is suddently a gust of wind, all of the peices have scattered. You can't identitify me. You can't sort out a smile from what's left of my debris. As peices of me blow in the wind I see things I've never seen before. I see new people, I try to speak out to them but my mouth is some place else.


-What's wrong with me.

Senshi Lita (10:13:38 PM): Almost a week and a half passed that we hadn't shared a passionate kiss. He tricked me into going on a date. We were "just friends" when he snuggled up close. "cold" when he put his arms around me. "attracted" when he planted a kiss onto my lips. "loving me" as things got passionate.


Tuesday: I'm not sure why, but I was very depressed. I was worse on Sunday.. Pretty bad on monday.. Well, I got to school a little late.. Did my work. Tried to ignore the fact that Eloy was obviously mad at me. Third period was okay. I tried avoiding any type of eye contact with Leo since I felt humiliated that I'm not over him. Well, ever so kindly he turned in his seat "Hailey," he places his hand on my desk, "after school I have to pay my phone bill.. Can you come with me and then we can hang out?" I was melted by his question. HE wanted to hang out with ME?! I played hard to get. "To pay your phone bill... Eh, I don't know." It was an obvious answer. Yes.

After school: I met him in front of his building and we made our way up stairs. We left again with in minutes. He told me that he was hungry and wanted to get lunch before paying the bill. I thought nothing of it. "Where would you like to go" he asked. I told him I'm not hungry. He called me a liar. He kept asking until he decided that we were going to Pizza Rustica. He insisted that I ate, his treat. I refused. It was too date like. Then he insisted that I picked where we sat. I picked a place in the sun. We were there for a while, went to pay the bill, then we went to the beach. We sat and talked. He laid down in front of me. He laid his head in my lap. He insited I laid with him. I did. He moved so close to me that I had no place to put my arm except for on him. I did. I moved. He moved. He placed his arm over me. He rubbed my back. I returned my arm back and rubbed him too. I kissed his neck he kissed my neck. I kissed his shoulder he kissed me right about my breats. I kissed his cheek. He kissed my lips. The kissing got passionate. I turned my head. I was ashamed but at the same excited. He didn't say a word. We turned and it started again. Feeling, kissing, our breathing was getting hard. We just laid there again. "Hailey, I'm very cold, let's go." It was indeed frezzing out. We held hands. "Are you coming to get your bookbag?" I had forgotten. Again, the answer was yes. In his apartment all the lights were off. I found my way to his room and stood there. He found me in the dark. He held me. Passionatly kissed me. Touched me. Picked me up and laid me on the bed. Turned on the lights. Things got passionate.

Wednesday: He didn't want to let me go. He never wanted to leave me side. Smiles turned to frowns and frowns turned to swollen eyes.
Everyhing turned into love.
Or Lust?

For the first time I told him I hated him. I think I meant it.

Thursday: Amazing. I stayed a little for some math help. Leo met me. We went to the beach.. Kissed.. Then I looked over and saw some stange person staring at me. Jenny Smith. I walked over and saw that a bunch of my friends we were. Leo walked over. It was about 8-15 people. Leo never let my hand go. Mommy and Daddy got into a huge fight. I couldn't go home.

Now: getting back in to reality. I've finally noticed things. My dream land is falling apart. My paper wings have incinerated. My land of candy and chocolate has melted..

I will get through this without a scratch.

I am Hailey.

Current Mood: determined

A week sober. Not like this is my first time doing this. It's not my first time doing this and feeling good about it either. It is though my first time doing it strong intentions of never doing it again. Not after sad breakups, not after 2 weeks, not until the weekend, NEVER. Like it says in the bible "Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no." I say no and I'm standing firm by it. I've been happier then ever this week. I've been making better progress in school and exercise. I've been feeling better about myself. I've even been able to think clearly without un natural fatigue. The only fatigue I've been feeling is that in effect of staying up late talking to a special friend.

I've tried changing certain things in my life that could turn into stressers. I've done al of my HW this week. I've been hanging out less. I've been napping enough for me to be awake in the evenings without a single yawn. I'm all excited and it has only been a week. I really hope that I keep this up.

Today was fun. I walked up and down lincoln several times with Annie. Then we went to my house so I could take a quick shower and then I walked around surfside with Jelena. Annie had to leave almost right when we finally got there(walking). Jelly and I first went to subway and talked.. Then we walked over the the beach and talked some more. Then we walked to my house. It was cool. This was a pretty cool friday. No regrets about it.

My silibant whispers of depression drown your uncaring ears
I remember once telling you, that losing you was my biggest fear.
Forlorn is my soul, indescribable my pain
nothing in the world can any longer keep me sane.
I once had what I needed and it contented my being
It tears me apart that i'm not worth it for once deceiving
Relationships grow stronger on mistakes
this straightens the road that the relationship takes
either hard, sturdy, and full of love
that feels like a feeling sent from above.
Or false kisses and I love yous
And showing hatred in all of your cues.
All I want is to have a place in your heart
even if it means returning to the start.

Last night I noticed the harm that I caused to Leo. Never before would I have guess what an effect I would have on his life and well being. He is so terribly depressed. He's had his heart crushed twice by two different girls. His first love and me. I never intended harm,you know I didn't. I truly liked him with all of my heart. I told him that I loved him twice last night. I wish I hadn't. I feel like I appear weak, which I guess I am anyway. I'm going to talk to his friends to try to get everyone back on the same page. We talked from what 9 or something, till 12. We had such a meaning full conversation. At first I thought that he was trying to be a dick but then i saw the point that he was trying to prove. He is not really the happy child that i thought him to be. i don't see why not. Everyone has their skeletons in their cloest though. His were just well hidden behind false smiles and laughs. I wish i could help him. I know today is going to be weird around him after that conversation. Well, I'll find out today.

Current Mood: anxious